“When you find the hammer, come home, or never come back.”
It was early winter 2006, the weather was dry and uncomfortable beyond description, Chou was wearing only an ivory white shirt with a red scarf on his way home from school, just arriving at the gate of his house. He saw his father and the neighbor standing at the electric pole in the distance talking about something, he wanted to say hello but it seemed like no one saw him so he ran into the house. He put his old school bag on the table and rubbed his hands that were shaking from the cold of the winter afternoon. His father’s footsteps were rustling in the yard, and he was looking for a windbreaker to put on to keep warm before going to cook dinner.
His father called into the house: “Is Chou home from school yet?”
It said loudly: “I’m home.”
His father saw the corrugated iron roof covering the well had collapsed on one side. He fumbled around for a while, trying to figure out how to fix it, then shouted back: “Chou, find a hammer and bring it out here.”
Chou replied, “Yes.” He tried to find his coat but couldn’t find it. Afraid that his father would rush him, he ran to find a hammer. He rummaged through his father’s toolbox but couldn’t find any hammer. He called out, “Where did you put the hammer? I can’t find it.”
His father was impatient: “Look in the toolbox, it’s right there.”
Chou fumbled around, looking back and forth for the hammer but couldn’t find it. Then he ran out into the yard and said, “Dad, I can’t find it.”
His father shouted: “You can’t find the hammer. Did you throw it somewhere?”
He thought for a moment and then suddenly remembered that his neighbor had borrowed it a few days ago to make a rake (a tool used for farming), so he said: “Oh, I remember Uncle Hung borrowed it the other day, he probably hasn’t returned it yet, let me go ask.”
His father urged: “Hurry up, next time you lend something to someone, remember to ask.”
Before he could respond, the small figure of the 9-year-old child had already gone like the wind. He quickly ran to his neighbor’s house 100 meters away.
Unfortunately for him, Uncle Hung had gone out early in the morning on some business in the district, and only his old mother was home. He told her about it and asked for the hammer back. He stood there, his hands shaking because of the cold night, and he hadn’t had time to put on his coat yet. He just looked inside the house, following the shadow of his neighbor, to find the hammer for him.
He stood waiting for a while, then asked her impatiently: “Grandma, have you found it yet? My dad said I have to bring it home or he will scold me.”
She was in the storage room and rummaged through everything but couldn’t find it. She shouted out, “I can’t find it. I don’t know where Uncle Hung put it.”
She walked out of the room with a heavy back, punching and leaning on her thighs: “Okay, when Uncle Hung comes back, I’ll ask him to find it and bring it down to your family, okay?”
Chou’s face turned pale when she heard what the neighbor said. She shivered, goosebumps rose up, and her heart was beating wildly. She stuttered: “Grandma, please find… please try to find it for me. If I don’t bring the hammer back, my father will beat me. Please keep looking…”
She replied: “Uncle Hung will come back later and I will look for him. Don’t worry, you can go home first.”
Chou asked weakly: “So when will Uncle Hung come back?”
The neighbor laughed and replied: “It’s just a hammer. When Uncle Hung comes back, I’ll find it for you. How would you know where it was? Maybe it’s lost.”
Hearing the word “lost” made Chou’s heart want to jump out of her chest immediately, she didn’t want to go home in this state. She desperately asked the neighbor to find the hammer but she was old, her eyes were smeared with ointment, her limbs were unsteady, she knew for sure she couldn’t save her this day. She dragged her feet step by step on the dark path mixed with the sound of frogs croaking in the pond. She kept pulling at the hem of her shirt as if the shirt had done something wrong to her. She tried to walk as slowly as possible, she wished time would stop or go back to the morning so she could sit in school and study, it would be more reassuring. She just wished the way home was so long, so long that it would be long enough for Uncle Hung to come home from the district and find the hammer for her.
He reached the gate but did not go inside. He saw his father still struggling with the roof covering the well. He tiptoed and stood in the middle of the yard.
When his father saw him coming back, he asked sternly: “Were you crawling on the street or something? Why were you gone so long? Where’s the hammer?”
Chou’s voice was small: “Uncle Hung is not home, and Mrs…”
Before he could finish his sentence, his father raised his voice: “Speak up, where’s the hammer?”
She jumped and said loudly: “Uncle Hung is not home, but grandma is at home and can’t find him. Grandma said when Uncle Hung comes back, grandma will look for him and bring him down.”
His father shouted loudly, he thought that even without the loudspeaker, the house at the end of the village could hear his father’s voice: “You even lend someone a hammer. You lend it to someone and don’t know how to bring it back? What if you lose it? Can you go buy another one to pay for me?” His father walked back and forth, pointing his finger straight at his face and cursing, then his father saw the aluminum pot on the well’s threshold, picked it up and threw it into the yard towards him. He didn’t dare to dodge, just stood there like a statue, luckily the pot was deflected and neatly placed in the corner of the yard. He also didn’t dare to cry, afraid that his father would curse him again.
Her father immediately won: “You useless thing, raising a daughter doesn’t bring any benefits. If I knew, I wouldn’t have given birth to someone like you. You eat and then destroy. Go find a hammer and bring it back here for me. When you find the hammer, you can come home, otherwise, don’t ever come back again. Get lost, get lost.”
It raised its head to look at its father for a while, its eyes were heavy, tears fell like rain. It slowly and heavily dragged itself out onto the street, it saw the neighbor’s aunt in the house across the street holding her grandchild standing there looking, it immediately lowered its head and looked at its feet as it walked. After a while it saw the church door was open, it immediately crawled into a corner behind the door and sat down there. It didn’t dare cry out loud for fear that the janitor sweeping the trash outside would hear it, it put its elbow to its mouth, clenched its teeth and tears just kept flowing. The church didn’t have the lights on because it wasn’t time to go to prayer yet, the large and dark space made it feel even more confused, it didn’t know where it would sleep tonight, it was cold, it didn’t know what to eat tonight, it was hungry. Thinking of this it burst into tears again, but hearing the sound of the broom sweeping outside it was afraid that if the janitor outside chased it away it would have no place to stay. Feeling sorry for himself, he sat silently looking at the Saint on the large altar in the distance, his mouth pouting with his eyes glistening and his nose starting to run. He wished that tonight would pass quickly, that he would go to school diligently, that he would not lend his things to anyone anymore, that he hated Uncle Hung so much, that he would not talk to Uncle Hung anymore, because Uncle Hung had made his father kick him out of the house, that the person who lent the hammer to Uncle Hung was his father or someone else in the house, not him. But… it was too late!
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